It has been such a long time since I’ve blogged here. I am not promising a revival either.
I didn’t even complete my own 52 week challenge, because, you know, shit happens. And I suck at challenges. Sometimes, writing in public spaces puts pressure on for a certain kind of content, and, once one starts gaining readers, the pressure to continuously deliver content is hard. It also, for me, removes the ability to write freely. To work around this, I simply blogged, albeit sporadically, somewhere else. I’d like to reclaim this space again, but, no promises.
The last post I made here cryptically referred to it being my last trip to Cape Town. I left my best ever employer at the end of November after a series of decisions made in possibly the wrong frame of mind. I returned to best ever employer at the beginning of January after a series of apologies and possibly better decisions. This means I am travelling again, but not quite as frequently as before. Since returning, I have been to Cape Town three times, Lisbon (Portugal) once, Abuja (Nigeria) once, and I am currently in Seattle. I am feeling a lot more positive about everything, even though I kick myself on occasion for making the decision to leave in the first place. Sometimes, we need to make bad decisions to appreciate the good moments.
Our best friends left us at the end of last year for different shores. This changed a couple of things in our lives. For starters, it meant our friends were no longer a couple of blocks away, and time with them have moved into a virtual space. I am forever grateful for Skype and WhatsApp.
My bestie left South Africa a long time ago, but it was manageable, because we were already interacting more online than in person before she left. So while I miss her terribly, I could deal with it. Our other best friends we saw weekly in person, so their departure has been hard for both my husband and myself. It has reopened discussions about possible relocation to European shores, and I think we have pretty much decided that we will be pursuing this actively in the near future.
My beautiful boy, Frank, left me for the big catnip patch in the sky a few months ago. My heart is still hurting every day.
I think this is one of the reasons it has been so hard getting back into blogging, especially photo blogging. Because at least 70% of my photos are of him, and I ache every time I browse my photos.
I so relate to the last sentence... I genuinely can't look at photos of any tan dog or horse without my heart breaking in two at the moment. Strangely enough, photo of Josey herself are a little better. What keeps me writing at the moment is the idea that I like going back in time to read my posts - sometimes a current crisis can be resolved by seeing how I handled it last time. I wish that for you - the end of the impact of the 'other', the 'reader' of your writing. <3
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