[Fiction] Friday Challenge for May 1st, 2009:
A secondary character says this somewhere in your story; “He’s the cutest little boy. Makes it that much sadder, doesn’t it?”
I look into those big blue eyes staring up at me. I force out a smile, and feel his clammy hand squeeze mine a little tighter.
“It’s time to go,” I say. He nods.
We walk down the path towards my car. Just before we reach the end, he squeezes my hand again, stops and looks back. The house looks even blacker from here. He squeezes my hand again, he is ready to go.
We drive in silence back to my office. I don’t know what to say to him. He sits, staring out the window, hands balled in his lap, his small face streaked with old tears. I cannot resist ruffling his dirty blonde hair with my hand in between gear changes.
We climb the stairs to my office in silent huffs and puffs. You would think that, after all these years of climbing these stairs, my body would be used to it. Maybe it is time to cut down on the juju sticks. I pause for a moment at the top of the stairs to catch my breath. My face must be red as a beat, because he is smiling that smile at me. I shrug, and open the door. Thank gods, Deloris is in the office.
She immediately takes the boy from me and coos around him, like dames always do, so I go hide out in my office.
I sit behind my desk, shuffling papers, unable to get the scene out of my head when she walks in, closes the door behind her carefully and says “He’s the cutest little boy. Makes it that much sadder, doesn’t it?”
I nod, put a juju stick between my lips and say “It’s always the little ones who suffer.”
“And to be alone at his age,” she says, “What’s going to happen to him now?”
I shrug. “That’s up to socials now. Someone’s on their way already.” Another bite of the juju stick, and I feel a little better. “At least he won’t have to go back there,” I say, the scene stuck my head like a bad record, because I know I must go back, find the answers they all want. But that is tomorrow.
I decided that I need to force myself to participate in these again, since I haven’t written in such a long time.
I had a Noir scene in my head, with some Blade Runner thrown in.
5 comments:
Nicely done! I've been out of it for a while, too. Glad to get back in. I love to read what everyone does with these. I enjoyed the voice of your piece. Keep it up!
That's my two pence...
Arial ;)
Good little story. Not quite sure I had blade runner in my head when I read it though :-), but I wonder what badness he was being taken away from.
I've just started doing fiction Friday, so the more the merrier.
Cheers
Al
great use of your carefully chosen words to convey the time period this piece exists in.
It left the reader wanting more - so that's always a gratifying outcome.
mine can be found at
http://annieevett.blogspot.com/2009/05/beginning.html
Hello. Yours is the 2nd post I've read, trying to get a hang of these mini-writing challenges.
I enjoyed what you wrote. There was a realism there that could be from any genre.
gr8 work...2 be frank as I read this I felt it....
Of course dudette...I Was that little boy once... :-)
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