1 August 2008

Fiction Friday

[Fiction] Friday Challenge for August, 1 2008:

Write about a leopard print dress.

I can hardly breathe. I feel like a kid before Christmas. I can almost taste it, it is right here.

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I will wake up, and it will be the day, the day he comes home.

She giggles like a schoolgirl. I am mesmerised.

Gosh, I can’t even remember when last I have seen him. No, wait, I lie. I remember exactly the last time I saw him. Delicious thing he was.

Oh god, she’s biting her lip.

Just thinking about it I can feel the brush of his lips on my cheeks, his hands hovering just above my skin.

I will slip on that little number he loved so much. Just thinking about the fabric on my skin sends shivers down my spine.

I shiver with her. I can see the yellow and black fabric against her mocha skin.

I wonder if he’s changed. No, I mean, really. Doesn’t something like that change a man? God, she says, would he even be human if he hasn’t changed?

I nod. Captive audience.

Oh god, she giggles again. It is delightful. I am so sorry, here I am, rambling on and on. Your boyfriend is waiting for you over there, isn’t he?

This always happens. Bastard. I giggle nervously, and agree. I kick myself as I walk away.

7 comments:

Lenore said...

This reads like a prose poem; tis nice, what happens?

keithsramblings said...

Beutifully written. Loved it.

Annie Evett said...

How often does this happen..... 100000 thoughts in your mind.... over something so simple.. love it.

Jodi Cleghorn said...

This is really intriguing. I've read it four times now stripping back all the subtle layers ... and I'm still left scratching my head.

This is a fantastic piece of short prose.

The Blonde said...

wow. I love it! I love how easily you were able to show two sides of a conversation, two completely different minds and focuses, in one short "dialog."

arialburnz said...

Nice format and prose! Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to be external and internal dialogue...the girl talking, the other girl making comments to self while listening. Yes? Great job!

That's my two pence...
Arial ;)

Arial Burnz - Romance Novelist & Artist
http://arialburnz.wordpress.com
www.EnchantedWoodz.com
www.EnchantedWoodz.com/arialburnz

Vanessa said...

@lenore: thanks. I am not sure, actually. The picture I had in my head changed with every sentence. I should sit down and work on this one some more.

@Keith: Thank you :)

@annie: yup. I am but a conduit at times. It is so much fun.

@jodi: thank you so much. It is funny how these things happen sometimes.

@the blonde: thank you.

@Arial: thank you. I wasn't sure if the internal dialogue was from a girl or a boy...

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